Bodies Unfiltered

By Kat K.

Hi all, it’s been a while. During a time when I should’ve been writing the most, I avoided it at all costs. Between interviewing for jobs, starting a new job, and losing myself in the 9-5 routine, I stopped making time for something I love. 

But I’m back, committing time to doing what I love, and will be posting at least once a week.

Today we are going to talk about imposter syndrome. Since recently starting a new job in the construction industry, I have faced imposter syndrome like no other. Granted, I am working on the marketing/office side of the business, it still involves interacting with people who have been in this industry for decades. To give some context, I am working for a glazing subcontractor that has been around for over 70 years. It is truly my first “big girl job” out of college and is putting my professional confidence to the test.

Before I got the job I had a few interviews. In the first interview, they told me they had to go through over one hundred resumes for this position, so they weren’t sure when they would let me know about a follow up interview. At this moment, I mentally accepted that I probably wouldn’t get the position. I know that goes against my usual manifestation and positive energy tactics, but I genuinely did not believe I would get this job. Not because I wasn’t qualified or excited, but because there was no way, in my mind, I could be a better candidate than over 100 people. 

Fast forward a couple months and three interviews, and they actually offered me the job. I could not believe the offer letter I was reading but it was official, with the company president’s signature and everything. I finally signed it after a weekend of doubting myself and my family asking how I haven’t signed it already. All I had left to do was get a few new professional outfits and show up on my first day. 

My first day and week flew by, filled with introductions, orientation, and learning my array of tasks for this position. Every day I grew more excited to learn, but I wasn’t giving myself the patience to do so. If someone asked me to do something, and I didn’t immediately know how to do it, I became frustrated and self-critical. Instead of acknowledging that it is okay to not know how to do something you’ve never done before, I beat myself up for not knowing how. Even when I asked questions to figure it out, I felt ashamed.

Looking back, that self-criticism serves no purpose. It wastes energy that could be spent on learning, growing, and actually doing the work.

Imposter syndrome is feeling like you don’t deserve what you have based on your dedication or skill, whether that is a certain job, wealth, or a big house. In this case, imposter syndrome applies to the job I got but felt I didn’t deserve. I realized after receiving reassurance from my boss that I am doing a great job, and that this way of thinking is a me-problem I have to address head-on. When I find myself stuck in the imposter syndrome mindset, I list all of the things I have done that prove I deserve to be where I am. I have already helped with so many projects, planned so many things for the future, and show up to work smiling and ready to take on whatever is ahead. The cycle of self-doubt my mind keeps spinning through is something I need to break by redirecting my thoughts. 

If you have felt imposter syndrome recently and haven’t known how to get out of that mindset, think of all the reasons you DO deserve the life you have. 

These are the thoughts I come back to when the self-doubt gets loud.

• I am here because I took real steps, not just by chance.
• I am trusted for a reason, even if I can’t always see it.
• I am allowed to be growing and imperfect at the same time.
• I am more than my worst moment or my loudest doubt.
• I am allowed to change, evolve, and outgrow old versions of myself. 
• I have grown more than I give myself credit for.
• I have people who wouldn’t invest in me if I had nothing to offer.
• I have learned from failures instead of being defined by them.
• I deserve the life I’m building.
• I deserve to be here without having to prove it every day.
• I deserve rest without earning it through exhaustion.
• I deserve kindness from myself.

Give yourself the grace to learn, grow, and change, even through the difficult times. When life gets harder, patience with yourself isn’t just important, it’s essential.